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Grace and Peace, Beloved…
If you currently follow us on social media, then you are aware that we have been hosting a weekly FB Live broadcast on Sunday evenings at 3 pm PST, 4 pm MST, 5 pm CST and 6 pm EST. The Lord impressed upon my heart in May of 2019 that I should do a live broadcast on FB.
Little did I know, that 10 months later I would continue to broadcast on a weekly basis. We have not missed a single week since our inaugural broadcast, and have broadcast in excess of 40 (forty) times to date. The Lord is good!
The broadcast is typically aired from my personal FB page: Cheryle Richardson. In the event there is some technological issue we may broadcast from one of our other pages: Apostle Cheryle L Richardson or our ministry page: Lion of Judah Global Impact Ministries, Inc. We are also active on Twitter: @Judah_Lion9, Pinterest : Judah’s Roar-r and Instagram: Judahsroarr.
Over the past several weeks we have been broadcasting a series: Domestic Violence “From the Perspective of a Survivor”. It has been very impactful, based on the feedback received from viewers.
We are extending the series for an additional 2-3 weeks as we have been contacted by other survivors who feel that they have reached a place in their journey where sharing their experience will strengthen them, as well as others. We currently have survivors scheduled to share their own unique story on both March 1st and March 8th.
Each Survivor’s Story is Unique
Although Domestic Violence consists of certain predictable stages that are consistently present, each survivor’s experience is unique. Why do I say this?
Each relationship consists of two individuals and the sum total of how each of them have processed or failed to process their experiences from birth: their successes, failures, challenges and trauma. If either partner has experienced childhood domestic violence, as a direct target of abuse, or because they were exposed to the abuse of a caregiver, the experience has most likely impacted their brain. Intense trauma, or ongoing trauma actually re-wires the brain of victims. The trauma does not have to take the form of “physical aggression” in order to negatively impact the brain.
Shared Trauma or Compatibility?
Often “shared trauma” is mistaken for compatibility. As a result, often times victims are “drawn” to one another. The assumption, at the onset of the relationship, is that because both partners have experienced abuse, and discussed the negative impact that it has had on their lives that there is no chance of either of them inflicting such pain on one another. On the contrary, if each partner has not “done the work” needed to process the pain and trauma that they have been exposed to, the toxic abuse cycle will re-appear in the new relationship. The healing process will be undermined and compromised, if a victim is exposed to additional trauma. What implication does this have?
If trauma is re-visited on a survivor, their ability to maintain a positive sense of self and autonomy may be severely compromised. Their brain is once again “under attack”. Many survivors report that upon entering a new relationship they find to their horror that the new partner exceeds the former partner in terms of the levels of abuse levied against the victim. This, of course is potentially devastating.
Trauma Literally Re-wires The Brain
In contrast, the longer that a survivor can avoid ongoing abuse, the better the opportunity for their brain to heal from the trauma that it has been exposed to. Initially, due to trauma bonding, the survivor may yearn for the abuser: to see them, hear their voice, even smell their cologne. It’s very similar to the pangs of “withdrawal” that an addict experiences when attempting to refrain from using his/her drug of choice. The good news is, the brain can heal under healthy conditions.
Healing Takes Time
It’s important to remember that genuine healing takes time. If you initiate a new relationship out of fear of being alone, you are not healed. If you enter a new relationship to prove to your ex- partner that you are not “damaged” or that you are desirable, you are not healed. It’s imperative that you avail yourself of the help that is available to you. You are absolutely not alone. Hold yourself accountable regarding doing those things that you need to do to re-build your life – but be gentle with yourself. You’ve been through a lot.
You Are Not Alone
Align yourself intentionally with those skilled in assisting survivors: DV advocates in your area, the National Domestic Violence Hotline, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, DomesticShelters.org. Feel free to reach out to me on any of my social media platforms: inbox me on FB messenger, send me a friend request, or email me at judahs.roarrr@gmail.com. Ensure that you are “following” me so that you are notified when a “live” broadcast is in progress. There are many dv “support groups” on social media. Be wary of those that tend to provide a platform for comparing “battle scars”, and rehearsing pain without inspiring hope.
